Ranks: NL Central Third Basemen

1. Aramis Ramirez, 31--CHI

2. Troy Glaus, 32--STL

3. Edwin Encarnacion, 26--CIN

4. Bill Hall, 29--MIL

5. Insert HOU third basemen here

6. Insert PIT third basemen here

Aramis Ramirez and his pet rooster take the cake slice here. Ramirez hasn't finished with an OPS+ less than 126 in his last five seasons. Aramis was a 2003 gift from the Pirates, who gave him to the Cubs for Jose Hernandez, Bobby Hill and Matt Brubeck. In most cases, three players are better than one--in this case, not at all. Then again, that's why Pittsburgh is Pittsburgh. They trade away young talent to "go even younger," an interesting concept. Troy Glaus is next, and even though he's only played three full seasons in the past six years, the man puts up numbers and isn't too much of a liability in the field. While his career batting average in 11 seasons is only .256, he owns a .360 OBP, .498 SLG and an OPS+ of 121, which is freaking great. In two years, however, Troy will be DHing in the AL.

Which brings us to Edwin, a 26-year-old who seems to gain more of an understanding every year, but who has yet to put it all together and produce a great year. He's finished above the league average in OPS+ the last three seasons (106, 101, 108) as a 23, 24 and 25-year-old. Fans have never given Edwin their hearts because they do not trust his defense, which can be, to say the least, at times, poop. And because of this poop factor, fans have grown tired with every out Edwin makes at the bat (see this baffling blog article in CityBeat entitled The Reds are Weird and it's EE's fault. WARNING: Hipsters don't do sports).

You never know what you're going to get with Bill Hall, unless of course he's playing the Reds. In 308 plate appearances, Bill has a .988 OPS against us. Against everyone else, he is human. And then there are a cluster of aging third basemen (Blum, Boone, Vazquez) who, frankly, I don't feel like writing about in any way.

All in all, just remember, no matter how frustrated you get with Edwin, the Reds have it pretty good at third base.

Ranks: NL Central Second Basemen

1. Brandon Phillips, 28--CIN
2. Kaz Matsui, 33--HOU
3. Rickie Weeks, 26--MIL
4. Freddy Sanchez, 31--PIT
5. Mike Fontinot, 29--CHI
6. Aaron Miles, 33--CHI
7. Adam Kennedy, 33--STL

Brandon Phillips is number one. No questions here. It's a combination of two things really:
1.) He has speed, power, glove, youth and a winning smile.
2.) The others are essentially trade bait. They've all had a good season or two (except for Kennedy and Miles who are just terrible) which gives them each more value than a minor leaguer. Matsui looks more promising every year but keeps getting older and older. Weeks is the exact opposite (yes, he gets younger and younger). Sanchez plays for Pittsburgh which means he is incapable of amounting to anything for the rest of his life. Mike Fontinot had a year similar to Jeff Keppinger in 2007 but he still finds himself behind Aaron Miles on the Cubs depth chart, probably because he can only move two feet laterally to each side (life = cruel).

I was a bit harsh on Phillips in my scouting report, but my cell phone wasn't charged and I let my Cheerios get soggy that morning. I still think he swings too hard and doesn't get on base enough, but one can only be so perfect. Even if Brandon never does the 30/30 thing again, I'll be fine as long as he brings the D, gets OB and cuts the Ks. It's tough for NL second basemen these days. They seem to be dying off (Kent,...and...Kent). There's Mr. Utley, and who else? Dan Uggla, Kelly Johnson, Orlando Hudson? I guess it's Brandon Phillips.

Ranks: NL Central First Basemen

1. The Destroyer of All Things Spherical, 29--STL
2. Lance Berkman, 33--HOU
3. Prince Fielder, 25--MIL
4. Joey Votto, 25--CIN
5. Derrek Lee, 33--CHI
6. Adam LaRoche, 29--PIT

If you're a Reds fan, this list is rather depressing. The NL Central has a stranglehold on the rest of baseball with first base talent. Joey Votto really gets shafted here, and I was generous not to put Derrek Lee ahead of him as many others would.

There is no easier rank in baseball than placing Albert Pujols 1st on this list. Abolutely terrifying is the fact that Albert is coming off his best season (.357/.462/.653). He eats Lance Berkman's for breakfast, and Lance Berkman is amazing, a steady lock in the two spot. Did you know that Lance stole 18 bases last year and was only caught 4 times? That's 14 true stolen bases for someone with the nicknames Big Puma and Fat Elvis. Brandon Phillips only had 13 true stolen bases last year. Ouchies! If Lance can do it, so can you Joey Votto, Edwin Encarnacion and Alex Gonzalez.

Prince Fielder is 3rd, even though Joey's rookie numbers matched Prince's last year. They are the same age, but Prince has a 50 HR season under his double-sized belt. Derrek Lee, 5th on this list, was one of the more underrated players in the game until he went nuts in 2005 (.335/.418/.662). While he hasn't matched that production since, he is getting more recognition now, as his numbers begin to sag. Even Adam LaRoche, the last man on the list, has a career 114 OPS+. Damn Gina!

Joey Votto is not a defensive rock like Pujols or Lee, but he will get great practice as long as Edwin mans the hot corner. Joey might only be the 4th best first basemen in the NL Central, but he's probably 6th-8th in the NL right now--and he's just getting started. Joey will never put up Albert numbers and it would be unfair to expect Berkman numbers, but we can expect him to outperform Fielder and Lee this year. After all, he is our big bat.

Ranks: NL Central Catchers

1. Geovany Soto, 26--CHI
2. Yadier Molina, 26--STL
3. Ryan Doumit, 28--PIT
4. Ramon Hernandez, 33--CIN
5. Jason Kendall, 35--MIL
6. Humberto Quintero, 29--HOU

As much as I hate to admit it, the Reds are slightly better with Ramon Hernandez than the Three-Headed Suck Monster, but that doesn't mean Ramon should earn $8 million this year. Judging by his numbers, he was only about a $500,000 upgrade. And even if you were a fan of the pick-up, he is only the 4th best catcher in the NL. Geovany Soto is coming off a 2008 ROY campaign where he hit .285/.364/.504 and established himself as a solid defense catcher. Yadier Molina won his first of many gold gloves (career 47.8% caught stealing) and has improved offensively each of the last three seasons. Ryan Doumit, in his first full year, batted .318/.357/.501 and finished with a 128 OPS+, tied for 7th in the Central with Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder and Aramis Ramirez. If he puts up similar numbers this year, I'll consider moving him ahead of Molina (I swear to God I'll do it).

So there you go. Ramon Hernandez is 4th, at best. And that's just in his division. He's coming off his worst year throwing out runners (19.5%) and he ain't gettin' much younger. From 2003-2006, Ramon put together a string of above average offensive years, made more valuable considering his position. But now, after two years of subpar numbers and growing wrinkles under his eyes, it's time for Ramon to prove himself to a new city. Sure, he's better than Jason Kendall, who still brings the huss and leadership bless his heart, and he outranks Humberto Quintero, who will probably never be mentioned in this blog ever again unless the sentence reads, "Edinson Volquez struck out Humberto Quintero four times last night," but the Reds are going to need at least an average offensive year from Ramon if they want to compete in the division.