Reds.comments: Bless Their Hearts

EDITOR'S NOTE

This will be a reoccurring segment on The Red Scare where we analyze certain fan comments posted under news articles and press releases from Reds.com, the official propaganda machine of the Cincinnati Reds.

On signing an outfielder

"Why Griffey Jr.? Did you see him play the past 8/9 years? He can't catch up to a 92 mph heater anymore. Walt has done an excellent job in the offseason acquiring players that make financial and team chemistry sense. Speed, defense, and pitching win games this days. Hernandez, Taveras, and Gomes were big acquistions this offseason. Remember when the Reds gave Cantu a chance two years ago? Can't wait for the season to start. GO REDS!!!!!!"

We won't go into the unfortunate injuries that have plagued Junior and how that has affected his play. But for the right price (which will not be that much) I wouldn't mind Junior off the bench. According to you, Walt has done "an excellent job" this offseason and "Hernandez, Taveras and Gomes were big acquisitions." Wow, you're easily impressed. You see, I would consider players like Bobby Abreu, Mark Teixiera and Milton Bradley as "big acquisitions." Keep drinking the water.

On the starting left fielder

"You have to start hairston, anyone can come up and hit 300 6 hrs and 15 rbi in the last 31 games of the season when no one is trying and a bunch of triple and double A cats are pitching. Hairston is faster than dickerson, will hit for a better avg, steal more bases and just be more of an asset to the team out in left. dont get me wrong i like dickerson but i think he has to prove himself in spring training to even be considered for the job."

I agree that Dickerson needs to prove himself, but give the guy some credit for putting up those numbers at the end of last year. You need to take your love affair with Jerry Hairston Jr. down a notch. He's a career .260/.330/.370 hitter who had a career year in his 11th season. Jerry is also linked to steroids in the Mitchell Report, but no one seems to give a crap because he's Jerry Hairston Jr. Give the young guy a chance to prove himself, not in Spring Training, but for the first month or two of the season. I think the idea of judging players by how they perform in Spring Training is silly. There are some fringe players that have incredible Spring Trainings and still don't make the squad and other players who make the squad after horrendous springs, which tells us that a majority of the roster spots are predetermined and involve money, not talent.

On not making any sense

"cincinasty got it right look at patterson last yr a baker buddy.last year had a lot to do with baker not the players when it comes to losing"

what?

Welcome: Arthur "Bling Bling" Rhodes

This will be Arthur Rhodes 18th season. He is 39. He had Tommy John surgery in 2007. He's played with Baltimore, Seattle, Oakland, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Seattle again, and Florida. As a set-up man, he has wisened through the years. In his first ten seasons, he averaged a 4.80 ERA. How he remained in the league, I'm not sure (the answer is expansion). On the eve of the 2001 season, however, Arthur most likely received a phone call from an anonymous deep-voiced Mariner fanatic who threatened the safety of his family if Arthur didn't elevate his game. Since that probable phone call, he has averaged a squeaky clean 3.02 ERA.

Arthur is the reason why baseball players are no longer allowed to wear pretty earrings. During a 2001 game against the insufferable Cleveland Indians, Arthur was ordered to remove his diamond stud earrings at the request of sissypants #1 Omar Vizquel, who complained to umpire Tim McClellan that the earrings were hurting his eyes and he couldn't see the ball. The earrings were ejected, followed by Arthur. "Distracting jewelry" was banned a short time after. It is noted that in 32 Plate Appearances against Arthur, Omar has a .111 BA (3 hits). Hmmmm.

Bling Bling follows in the footsteps of other dinosaur Reds relievers salvaged from the scrapheap (David Weathers, Mike Stanton, Kent Mercker, Rheal Cormier), although he does have one glaring difference. He looks meaner than shit.

STAT WATCH: If Bling Bling can pitch like he's pitched for the past seven years and doesn't have a heart attack, he will make a positive contribution to the club in 2009. Let's shoot for a 3.50 ERA Arthur.