Get Lost in the Taste of Crap Star Chili

Hello, God? Are you up there? Well, if so, it's me Jerome from The Red Scare. I know I don't talk to you as much as I should. I'll admit, it got a little weird after the communion thing in fourth grade. I was confused and needed to step away for a while. Anyway, I'm back now and I have one favor to ask. Can you please not let Gold Star Chili hold the Fox Sports Ohio marketing department hostage for the entire length of the 2009 season. I don't think I can get lost in the f***ing taste any longer. Last season, I got so lost in the taste, I became numb to the taste and considered taking a semi-automatic weapon into the chili chain to really, truly, get some people lost in the taste.

To make things clear, if I see the commercial below just one time between innings of a Reds game during 2009, bad things will happen.


This one also...