Walt would rather not talk about Jonny Gomes

I found this reds.com article written by Mark Sheldon amusing. Apparently, there weren't many good quotes to work with. Sheldon had one other Jocketty quote to work with, but decided to omit "I like rice."

25-Man Roster Prediction

Players in bold are my blanket picks.

Starters

Aaron Harang
Edinson Volquez

Bronson Arroyo

Johnny Cueto

x-Micah Owings

Relievers

Francisco Cordero

Jared Burton

Bill Bray

Mike Lincoln

Arthur Rhodes

David Weathers

Catchers

Ramon Hernandez

x-Ryan Hanigan

Infielders

Joey Votto

Brandon Phillips

Alex Gonzalez

Edwin Encarnacion

Jeff Keppinger

x-Darryl Ward

Outfielders

Jay Bruce

Willy Taveras

Chris Dickerson

Jerry Hairston Jr.

x-Little Norris Hopper

x-Jonny Gomes

Micah Owings gets the nod above all the other 5th starter candidates, including Homer Bailey, for three reasons:

1. He has ample big league experience regardless of how craptastic his line is.

2. He is one of the best hitting pitchers in baseball, a la Zambrano, and will be used as a pinch hitter.

3. He is the only one of the three D-Backs that came over in the Dunn trade who has a legit shot at making the team this year. The Reds want to prove they got something from the deal other than cap space.

Ryan Hanigan, who has zero power, will be our backup catcher simply because there is no one else and because he had a cup of coffee at the end of last year and managed not to embarrass himself. Maybe down the road Ryan can help usher in a newer model of the Three-Headed Suck Monster.

This is where things get a little sticky. Because Jerry Hairston Jr. can platoon in the infield as well as the outfield, he and Jeff Keppinger will be the reserve infielders, both able to play third, short and second. Darryl Ward will take the final infield spot to backup Joey Votto at first and also provide a power bat and veteran pinch hitting option off the bench.

This leaves two reserve outfield spots for about ten players. Little Norris Hopper needs to be one of these players, as a backup to Taveras in center and a sacrificial lamb with speed off the bench. The other needs to have a big bat and must be willing to charge the mound when things get testy. Enter Jonny Gomes.

Reds.comments: Bless Their Hearts

EDITOR'S NOTE

This will be a reoccurring segment on The Red Scare where we analyze certain fan comments posted under news articles and press releases from Reds.com, the official propaganda machine of the Cincinnati Reds.

On signing an outfielder

"Why Griffey Jr.? Did you see him play the past 8/9 years? He can't catch up to a 92 mph heater anymore. Walt has done an excellent job in the offseason acquiring players that make financial and team chemistry sense. Speed, defense, and pitching win games this days. Hernandez, Taveras, and Gomes were big acquistions this offseason. Remember when the Reds gave Cantu a chance two years ago? Can't wait for the season to start. GO REDS!!!!!!"

We won't go into the unfortunate injuries that have plagued Junior and how that has affected his play. But for the right price (which will not be that much) I wouldn't mind Junior off the bench. According to you, Walt has done "an excellent job" this offseason and "Hernandez, Taveras and Gomes were big acquisitions." Wow, you're easily impressed. You see, I would consider players like Bobby Abreu, Mark Teixiera and Milton Bradley as "big acquisitions." Keep drinking the water.

On the starting left fielder

"You have to start hairston, anyone can come up and hit 300 6 hrs and 15 rbi in the last 31 games of the season when no one is trying and a bunch of triple and double A cats are pitching. Hairston is faster than dickerson, will hit for a better avg, steal more bases and just be more of an asset to the team out in left. dont get me wrong i like dickerson but i think he has to prove himself in spring training to even be considered for the job."

I agree that Dickerson needs to prove himself, but give the guy some credit for putting up those numbers at the end of last year. You need to take your love affair with Jerry Hairston Jr. down a notch. He's a career .260/.330/.370 hitter who had a career year in his 11th season. Jerry is also linked to steroids in the Mitchell Report, but no one seems to give a crap because he's Jerry Hairston Jr. Give the young guy a chance to prove himself, not in Spring Training, but for the first month or two of the season. I think the idea of judging players by how they perform in Spring Training is silly. There are some fringe players that have incredible Spring Trainings and still don't make the squad and other players who make the squad after horrendous springs, which tells us that a majority of the roster spots are predetermined and involve money, not talent.

On not making any sense

"cincinasty got it right look at patterson last yr a baker buddy.last year had a lot to do with baker not the players when it comes to losing"

what?

Welcome: Darryl Ward and Jacque Jones (and still not Bobby Abreu)

Playing time for Chris Dickerson/Jerry Hairston Jr./Jonny Gomes just got a bit tighter with the recent signings of veterans Darryl Ward and Jacque Jones to minor league contracts (and for those wondering, the text layered over the profile pics was done through a new computer software called Microsoft Paint, where you can graffiti over the top of image files).

While there is no guarantee that either will make the Opening Day roster, Ward will mostly likely fill the tubby void left by Javier Valentin, formerly of the Three-Headed Suck Monster. Ward, who has seen time at first base and in the outfield in 11 seasons, is primarily a pinch hitter, which is a fancy way of saying Darryl isn't good enough to play defense and shouldn't be allowed to have 3-4 ABs a game. It's always hard to judge a pinch hitter's numbers because the sample size is miniscule and they are forever swinging cold, so a career .263/.320/.447 could be worse (see Javier Valentin). Darryl is aware of the enemy. He's played with Chicago, Houston and Pittsburgh.

When the Reds signed Jonny Gomes to a minor league contract a few weeks ago, fans were generally accepting of this move, mostly because it served as outfield insurance if Chris Dickerson didn't develop/Jerry Hairston Jr. returned to his normal self/Lance Nix played to expectations and sucked. Now with Jones competing for an outfield spot, the annual revolving door in the grass that Reds fans have become accustomed to is now complete (see 2008--Griffey, Dunn, Patterson, Hopper, Bruce, Freel, Hairston, Dickerson). Jones, in his 11th season, owns three worthy seasons (2002, 2003 and 2006).

There are those who will say, "The more players we have competing for the outfield job, the better." I disagree. This is only putting added pressure on Chris Dickerson. As soon as he slumps, they're going to replace him and I'm not sure this is a good thing. If there are too many players trying out in left, we'll never have any consistency in the order. Man, I sure wouldn't mind having Bobby Abreu for a year around $3 million. With Abreu, we possibly make a run at the Wild Card.

Welcome: Jonny "I Will Beat the Living Shit Out of You" Gomes

The Reds have just signed RF Jonny Gomes, who will beat the living shit out of you, to a minor league contract and invited him to Spring Training. Jonny, a licensed physical therapist and survivor of a heart attack in 2002, will compete for a reserve role with the big team. He is a career .235/.329/.455 hitter in six injury-plagued seasons with the Rays. Jonny is one of those players that is too good a hitter for AAA but isn't consistent in the majors. He will, however, beat the living shit out of you if you cross him or his teammates.

For less than a million dollars, Jonny will be a good fit for the Reds. Assuming he is called up or makes the team, he gives the Reds a power bat off the bench, a Javier Valentin of sorts, but who can actually be considered a home run hitter. Even though he won't get many innings, Jonny will still bring much needed shit-beating ability to a team whose players would much rather watch Bridget Jones's Diary than Natural Born Killers.

STAT WATCH: We won't ask Jonny for much this year. How about 3 late-inning pinch hit dingers and 3 haymakers to any player in the NL Central (bonus points for Carlos Zambrano or Prince Fielder).