Why I despise George Grande

"Stay tuned for The Best Darn Sports Show Period."


I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Poll Results: George Grande, Pucker Man

Red Scare readers have spoken. If George Grande were to do promotional work as a side, he would most likely sponsor a fictional invention known as the Ass-Kisser 4000, which not only kisses ass and kisses ass hard, but also cleans as it works, a non-feature of the three previous models.

According to the poll, if not the Ass-Kisser 4000, then Grande would be featuring another analcentric product--rectal exams. To be clear, Grande would not take direct part in the exam (that would be Chris Welsh--they don't call him the crafty left-hander for nothing).

If not for rectal exams, Grande would take Wolford Brimley's place as spokesman for diabetes, or as we have come to know, "Diabeetis." Watch The Price is Right and wait for a commercial break to understand this reference.