R.I.P. Daryle Ward

This is the image that came up when I googled "Daryle Ward Cincinnati Reds." How fitting.

When you are as one-dimensional as Daryle Ward (left-handed pinch hitting power bat) you should probably be damn good if not downright fantastic at your one thing. Unfortunately, Daryle is just a notch above average at that one thing he does.

Ward was the first cut by the Reds this spring who's name might sound familiar to a mildly dedicated fan of another team. While there are other players performing worse than Daryle in camp, he was weeded early, inevitably to give him enough time to sign with another team before Opening Day and become that team's left-handed pinch hitting power bat. He only needs St. Louis and Milwaukee to complete the NL Central tour.

All other outfield/first base backups being considered for the Reds 25-man roster can play multiple positions well and should provide at least average firepower (Gomes, Nix, Jones). I had originally pegged Ward with a roster spot, but I've been wrong about predicting bench spots before (the 1995 Jimmy Reynolds incident comes to mind--I hate when that pick rears its ugly head). I don't feel bad for Daryle. At least management is being consistent. They're going young. Daryle is not young. He's 34, which is like 68 outside of baseball. Laynce Nix might be the beneficiary of this move, a younger guy who's been waiting for a chance. I say give it to him. Or better yet, Little Norris Hopper! Almost forgot about him. Oh, Norry, please make it, please. But wait, Jacque Jones is 34 too. I give up. Just close your eyes and pick someone, then start the season.

STAT WATCH: I foresee at least one late-inning Daryle Ward revenge homer against the Reds. This will most likely happen against David Weathers and an 87-mph fastball that was aimed at the outside corner but for some reason floated gently over the center of the plate.

Why I despise George Grande

"Stay tuned for The Best Darn Sports Show Period."


I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Jacque Jones can count his friends on one hand

"Joe Morgan, how come no one likes me?"

If Jacque Jones makes the Opening Day roster, it's safe to say the world will end. He has a few things going against him...

• He is 34.
• As with Corey Patterson, he used to play for Dusty on the Cubs (a devestating combo for any Reds fan).
  
• He is coming off the worst season of his career and is batting .172 this spring (many Reds fans judge a player's entire career on one Spring Training)
• He is competing with fan favorites Chris Dickerson, Jonny Gomes, Little Norris Hopper, Laynce Nix and the ghost of Adam Dunn for a roster spot.
  

That's quite a mountain to climb for Jacque. I don't know what would make Reds fans dislike him any more, unless of course he was black with a French name.

Uh oh.

The worst song ever written?

These are The Hotcakes, and their song "Paint the Town Red" was chosen by the Reds PR department as the Reds theme song this year. The band is comprised of a cute blonde singer, a nerdy guitarist who's timidness causes him to raise his hands towards his neck when the camera is on him (much like Ricky Bobby), a saucy black keyboardist who majors in keepin' it real, and the drummer, in his spare time, does TV commercials for UPS where he does quick line drawings on a white background.

Here are the lyrics from what I can decipher:

When the cops come, we're gonna run right at them (really?)
Because they'll never expect it (over and over)
We'll paint the town red (8 times too many)

And the next time that your mother calls, we're gonna shout shout shout at the way it feels (what?)
Because she'll never expect it (0ver and over)
We'll paint the town red (8 times too many)

The next time the dogs are out, we're gonna search for a snapshot (applesauce pajama bunches--wait a second, just making up random phrases is kinda fun!)
Because they'll never expect it (over and over)
We'll paint the town red (shoot me in the face)

From what I gather, this song is about rioting against the police, yelling at your mother, searching for snapshots when the dogs are out (?), and all the while you are on a violent murder spree. Couldn't we have just paid the rights to John Fogerty's Centerfield and gotten on with things. Here's a link to their myspace page, where you can hear a studio version of the song, and posted below is a live video from the only New York bar they play in.

Apologies to DARYLE Ward

On another note, why is country music so bad?

If you see Daryle soon, tell him I'm sorry for spelling his name wrong for three months on The Red Scare. I knew there was a slight twist in the spelling of the name and I spelled it Darryl, not Daryle (which I believe is pronounced duh-rye-lee). Any incorrect past spellings of Daryle's name will stand as they are, strictly out of apathy.

Once again, Darrell, I'm sorry.

John Fay accomplishes the impossible

This is hard for me, because from what I know, John Fay is a good Enquirer reporter, as honest a source as you're going to get in reference to the Reds. He also seems like a polite man, one who dresses semi-casually and would make a tremendous uncle. You'll never catch John in his undies on a Saturday morning knock, let's just put it that way.

So you could imagine my anticipation when I read the title of his story yesterday on the Enquirer web page:

Rotation takes shape

and the lede: Reds manager Dusty Baker revealed on Friday how the rest of the rotation will shape up behind Opening Day starter Aaron Harang.

Hold on for one second while I change my pants because I seem to have saturated them with urine. It appeared that Dusty made the doomsday decision of selecting Owings or Bailey for the 5th starter spot! The decision would have been slightly premature with 20 days 'til Opening Day, but then again, we're talking about Dusty here. The man has some dumbfounding methods.

To make a long story short (and I wouldn't even bother reading the article even though I've posted a link to it thus giving you the option ro read it even after my suggestion not to read it, because I'm pro-choice), the article revealed the rest of the rotation after Harang to be (pay close attention): Edinson Volquez, Bronson Arroyo, Johnny Cueto and...and...ummm....nothing........no mention of anything about the 5th starter.....oh, wait, except for an Edinson quote about how he was happy not to be the 5th starter this year. "Damn you John," the blogger screams at the top of his lungs, holding and shaking his fist in the air.

And with that, John Fay accomplished the impossible by writing an article about the set pitching rotation without mentioning Homer Bailey or Micah Owings--not one mention of either. You should know that most reporters do not get final say on the title of their story (that's a job for the pompous editors), but even still, John's lede was cruel and unusual punishment for all Reds fans. If you read the article not knowing anything about baseball or the Reds, you probably just assume that the Reds are going with a 4-man rotation.

And the dazzling finale:

Cueto will start Sunday in place of Nick Masset. Masset will be used in relief of Cueto. "(Cueto's) only warmed up as a starter," Baker said.

Riggghhhhhttttt?

Davey Johnson will never forgive his stepson

Davey Johnson, former Reds coach and current manager of Team USA baseball, will miss the team's WBC second round opener against Puerto Rico tomorrow because his stupid stepson, who he never asked for, is getting married. Of all the dates, Jeremy, really?

None other than bench coach Barry Larkin will take over the reigns for Johnson, who will rejoin the team on Sunday. This is Barry's chance to insert himself in the lineup. He could probably out-play Derosa.

Spring Training, when will you end?

Edinson "getting the rust off"

This is the first year I've followed Reds Spring Training pitch by pitch. Let's just say I want to stab my eyes out with a spork. A person can only take so much speculation. Only 25 more days of torture! I think most fans grow more excited as the preseason trods along, but I find myself wanting to hurt my live-in girlfriend for no reason when I watch players like Richar, Rosales and Barker fart around the field playing dress up like a Red for a day. Oh and I almost forgot about Houston players Newhan, Sutton, Palmisano, Bogusevic and Mansella. I watched them play too--what thrills!

The speculation! The Spring Training cliches! I don't know if I can take it anymore. The highlight of today's game for me was when the Houston Astros radio announcer listed our starting defense, including Dennis Hopper in center field. It made me so happy at the moment, and now, thinking back on it, it is really sad how happy I was.

At least the World Baseball Classic has provided some diamond drama. You have to love how Joey Votto, playing for Canada, stroked a homer against America's best, Jake Peavy. And you have to be happy for Adam Dunn, who is carrying the load for the United States in the cleanup spot and getting oodles of praise from analysts. Son of a biscuit, he has looked good on the big stage, as close as he'll ever get to a playoff scenario (gypsy tears).

Throw out the statistics in Spring Training

They are practically useless for many reasons listed below. (I'll be borrowing here from a well-written Kansas City Royals blog article. Who knew someone associated with the Royals could produce something so beautiful. JK NYRoyal.)

1. The sample size is shrimpy. Nothing can be proven for a hitter in less than 40 ABs, which is what most fringe batters will get, and in the same way, for fringe starting pitchers who might get 15-20 IP, and relievers who might get 5-10 IP, if they're lucky.

2. The scrubs come out to play. Who are all of these people? I'm pretty sure one guy's name was Humpty McDougal.

3. Unreal play. Veterans usually set their motors on coast and pitchers tinker around with different pitches. Other players who are locks are just saving themselves and avoiding injury. When I pitched in high school (here we go), I remember fooling around with different grips and motions in the preseason because I could, and cause it was kind of fun.

4. Cactus League air factor. The ball carries well in Arizona, or so I hear.

I know that Spring Training has its benefits, but preseason stats should never be used to judge a player. The coaching staff could give a rat's Belisle about stats. They are looking at the nuances of development in younger players: the added velocity on a fastball, the refined location, the shortened swing, the improved eye, the use of the whole field, the jump on the stolen base, and other intangibles. In veterans, Spring Training is mostly a pulse checker: can he still get the bat off his shoulders? Can he still judge a fly ball? It's very similar to an auto emission's test. More than likely, you're gonna pass.

Here are some deceiving Spring Trainings from last year's team...

Joey Votto--38 ABs, .158 BA, .263 SLG (result: best all-around hitter on the team)
Corey Patterson--22 ABs, .455 BA, .545 SLG (result: you would have done better than Corey)
Drew Anderson--33 ABs, .394 BA, .485 SLG (result: no soup for you)
Andy Green--28 ABs, .357 BA, .786 SLG (result: he bagged your groceries last night)

Spring Training cliches
I listened to a broadcast recently (I forget which one. They all blend together.) where the announcer described a player's timing as being out of sorts after the player was late on a fastball and early on a changeup. "He's just getting the rust off," the announcer said. In the player's next AB, he smoked a 450 ft. homer. The announced said, "He's really zeroed in this spring." This is a microcosm of what Spring Training means to me.

Some past Reds Spring Training records

2008 17-15

2007 18-12

2006 22-11

2005 17-15

2004 17-16

Ranks: NL Central Third Basemen

1. Aramis Ramirez, 31--CHI

2. Troy Glaus, 32--STL

3. Edwin Encarnacion, 26--CIN

4. Bill Hall, 29--MIL

5. Insert HOU third basemen here

6. Insert PIT third basemen here

Aramis Ramirez and his pet rooster take the cake slice here. Ramirez hasn't finished with an OPS+ less than 126 in his last five seasons. Aramis was a 2003 gift from the Pirates, who gave him to the Cubs for Jose Hernandez, Bobby Hill and Matt Brubeck. In most cases, three players are better than one--in this case, not at all. Then again, that's why Pittsburgh is Pittsburgh. They trade away young talent to "go even younger," an interesting concept. Troy Glaus is next, and even though he's only played three full seasons in the past six years, the man puts up numbers and isn't too much of a liability in the field. While his career batting average in 11 seasons is only .256, he owns a .360 OBP, .498 SLG and an OPS+ of 121, which is freaking great. In two years, however, Troy will be DHing in the AL.

Which brings us to Edwin, a 26-year-old who seems to gain more of an understanding every year, but who has yet to put it all together and produce a great year. He's finished above the league average in OPS+ the last three seasons (106, 101, 108) as a 23, 24 and 25-year-old. Fans have never given Edwin their hearts because they do not trust his defense, which can be, to say the least, at times, poop. And because of this poop factor, fans have grown tired with every out Edwin makes at the bat (see this baffling blog article in CityBeat entitled The Reds are Weird and it's EE's fault. WARNING: Hipsters don't do sports).

You never know what you're going to get with Bill Hall, unless of course he's playing the Reds. In 308 plate appearances, Bill has a .988 OPS against us. Against everyone else, he is human. And then there are a cluster of aging third basemen (Blum, Boone, Vazquez) who, frankly, I don't feel like writing about in any way.

All in all, just remember, no matter how frustrated you get with Edwin, the Reds have it pretty good at third base.

Dusty Bottoms (#1)

Per the Enquirer...

"[Jay Bruce] is starting to swing good. He's swinging better than he was last [Spring Training]. Last year his average was high but his production wasn't as good as it is this year."

Jay Bruce has batted 10 times this spring. He has 2 singles and 1 homer. Last spring he batted .262 in 42 ABs. Just so we're clear.

OBP: "Oh Brandon Phillips"

Brandon Phillips made it clear today that he doesn't believe in the idea of OBP, aka on-base percentage, aka the measurement of how often a batter reaches base. In an Enquirer article out today, Phillips had all sorts of interesting things to say. Here are some of the most interesting.

"I don't believe in that on-base percentage (stuff). That's overrated to me. If you get hits, you'll be on base. That's what it's about."

This sounds like something a good player with a low OBP would say, or someone who is confusing real baseball with video game baseball. We all know what Dusty said recently about OBP, in reference to Willy Taveras and his lack thereof--"Everyone talks about his on-base percentage. I like the way he gets in scoring position." It appears this backwards outlook has rubbed off on our bright young grinning star.

"I'm a hitter. I swing the bat. I'm an aggressive hitter. They want me to work on [being patient], and I'll try my best. But I'm a hitter."

These quotes explain a lot about Brandon, who doesn't seem to know the difference between being a hitter and a hacker. The latter might have a career SO/BB ratio of 3:1 like Brandon does. It's okay to be aggressive but you can really hurt your team in many ways by swinging at crap pitches, which Brandon is amazing at.

"My numbers were good last year. For me to hit 20-plus homers, steal 20-plus bags and have 70-plus RBI, that's a good season, especially for a second basemen."

Brandon sounds pretty defensive, and maybe he should be. When he puts it that way, yes, he did put up pretty solid numbers for a second basemen. But when you zoom out and see that all his offensive numbers went down at an age when numbers should spike, that for his 23 swipes he was nailed 10 times, that he might have netted more RBI had he not batted .225 in 71 ABs with two outs and runners in scoring position, those general numbers lose some luster.

"I think [the Reds new emphasis on speed] is a good thing--moving runners from first to second and second to third. It's good to have speed on the team. Speed kills. We've been relying on the home run for so many years. We've had eight losing seasons. The way I look at it: It's time for a change. Walt Jocketty brought that in. We're 100 percent behind him."

When the hell did Brandon Phillips become the Machurian Candidate? I can see Brandon saying this quote in a monotone droll, his eyes not focused on anything in front of him, a Reds PR person coming out to the podium and taking him by the arm, "Okay Brandon, that will be all for today, good job." Brandon doesn't respond and is walked out of the room and placed in his pod for the night. Seriously Brandon, get with it. Speed isn't nearly as effective when you have a .319 career OBP as a Red. When you learn to get on base, we become a much more dangerous team. And to say we've been relying on home runs for the past eight years, why not just come out and blame it on Dunn and Griff? What about the other six or seven batters during that period? Couldn't they have balanced out the home run attack with some good hitting and speed. Couldn't they have done something to help win games? And what about the scalliwag pitching during those years? Somebody cut my cord. I'm turning into a crank. There can't possibly be more, can there?

"I'm not a typical fourth hitter. But who else on the team is going to do it?"

I give up. Brandon, I like you, but we have some fundamental baseball disagreements. With that kind of attitude, you will never develop into a professional hitter as they say, one who can manipulate the strike zone and make the pitcher work overtime, one who can help the team by taking ball four instead golfing for strike three. If you raise your OBP 70 points, you are Joe Morgan. That's how good you can be. Now get out there and stop trying to be Wily Mo Pena.

Reds.comments and a 10-inning win against the Netherlands!

The Reds only needed 10 innings yesterday to take down a fearsome Netherlands All-Star team made up of the same players that make up their regular team. While it hasn't been reported if the Netherlanders wore wooden cleats, according to comments on the Reds.com message board, based on a handful of Spring Training games, the Reds have a striking resemblance to the Big Red Machine, the 1990 World Series team, and the late 90's Yankee dynasty...really. And some have already lost faith in closer Francisco Cordero after 2 innings and 5 earned runs of baseball. Pop a bowl of corn and let's take a look at some comments.

"I hope I'm wrong, but I think the Francisco Cordero signing is going to wind up being a huge failure. He's giving up at least a run per inning. I know it's early but he needs to get it together. If he can't get guys out in the fifth inning, then how can we expect him to get guys out when it counts?"

10 years of 3.29 ERA baseball and you just threw Coco under the bus after 2 innings of Spring Training ball. It is clear that you have very poor stamina in the bedroom.

"Dickerson, Taveras and Bruce...WOW. If the speed is all it's advertised we are going to see some exciting defense this year. I think back to Griffey, Geronimo and Foster. Is the "Big Red Machine" getting tuned up for a comeback. I sure hope so, it's been too long without a championship."

This poor man has been starved for a winning team for too long because he just compared Dickerson/Taveras/Bruce to Griffey/Geronimo/Foster. Not that I need to clarify, but...In 19 seasons, Ken Griffey batted .296/.359/.431 with a 118 OPS+. In 15 seasons, Cesar Geronimo won 4 Gold Gloves in center field. In 18 seasons, George Foster batted .274/.338/.480 with a 126 OPS+. In 1977, he hit 52 home runs. Considering our starting outfield will have roughly six years of questionable big league experience, let's hold off on the Big Red Machine comparisons.

"The Yankee dynasty of the late 90's didn't have a single player that hit 30 or more home runs. Timely hitting, pitching and defense can take a team a long way."

While you are correct that the Yankees didn't have a single player that hit 30 or more home runs in the late 90's (Bernie hit 30 in 2000), they didn't abandon the long ball as you imply. They ranked 4th, 8th, and 6th in the AL in home runs in 1998, 1999 and 2000 during their three-peat. Not too shabby. Just throw out any stat that takes a shadow jab at Adam Dunn why don't you, you big jerk.

"I have been a Reds fan since 1961 and I think this team bears a striking resemblance to the 1990 team. The only difference being the bullpen. The 1990 team had the nasty boys and this year we have Rhodes(too old) and Weathers(too sad). There is still time to improve."

A striking resemblance to the 1990 World Series team? That's a tall order...

The 1990 Reds (NL ranks)

1st in BA (.265)

4th in OBP (.322)

3rd in SLG (.399)

2nd in ERA (3.39)

2nd in SO (1,029)

In other words, your memory is starting to go. You would have been perfect as James Garner in The Notebook. And you're a fan since 1961? Was that like the year you were born or something, because if not, that's kind of weird to say that you've been a fan since that year, like one day in 1961 you just decided to start liking the Reds or something, just turned on the damn switch huh? Well guess what, I've been a Reds fan since 1960, even though I was born in 1985, and there's nothing you can do about it.

"I too have been a fan since 1961. This team reminds me of another Reds team built around the idea of speed and defense. GM Bob Howsam traded power hitting 1B Lee May to Houston for a base stealing 2nd baseman named Joe Morgan and a centerfielder with an arm like a howitzer named Cesar Geronimo. The result? the BIG RED MACHINE. Walt has the right idea here."

Also starring Ramon Hernandez as Johnny Bench? You and the commenter above should have a 1961 class reunion and talk about how you make poor observations about baseball, and probably life.

"...Tavaras, Harriston/Dickerson, Votto/Gomes,Phillips, Bruce, Fernandez, EE, Gonzo/Kepp= 6 runs a game avg..."

This one is a little too easy, like picking on the goth kid. Harriston and Fernandez? Get the names right Jim. And also, the Cubs led the NL in runs per game last year with just over 5. Moral of the story--there is no way in hell the Reds will average 6 runs a game this year. If we are lucky, 4.6 runs/game, my final offer. Oh, and you're a dumbass.

Poll Results: George Grande, Pucker Man

Red Scare readers have spoken. If George Grande were to do promotional work as a side, he would most likely sponsor a fictional invention known as the Ass-Kisser 4000, which not only kisses ass and kisses ass hard, but also cleans as it works, a non-feature of the three previous models.

According to the poll, if not the Ass-Kisser 4000, then Grande would be featuring another analcentric product--rectal exams. To be clear, Grande would not take direct part in the exam (that would be Chris Welsh--they don't call him the crafty left-hander for nothing).

If not for rectal exams, Grande would take Wolford Brimley's place as spokesman for diabetes, or as we have come to know, "Diabeetis." Watch The Price is Right and wait for a commercial break to understand this reference.

How Many Wins This Year? (feat. the 2000 Cincinnati Reds and T-Pain)

The last winning Reds season was 2000 when we finished 85-77, good for 2nd in the division, still ten wins behind the pennant-winning Cardinals. That was Griff's first year. My, how things change.

National League Ranks

5th in total runs (825)

4th in batting average (.274)

5th in home runs (200)

6th in OPS+ (103)

5th in ERA (4.33)

T-4th in ERA+ (109)

The pitching staff featured starters Steve Parris, Rob Bell, Ron Villone, Pete Harnisch, Denny Neagle, Osvaldo Fernandez, Elmer Dessens and relievers Danny Graves, Scott Sullivan and Scott Williamson. The offense featured Benito Santiago, Pokey Reese, Barry Larkin, Aaron Boone, Dmitri Young, Ken Griffey Jr., Dante Bichette, Chris Stynes, Michael Tucker and Alex Ochoa, all of whom finished with an OPS+ over 100 for the exception of Santiago and Reese.

The 2008 team finished 74-88, 5th in the division.

National League Ranks

12th in total runs (704)
16th in batting average (.247)

4th in home runs (187)

14th in OPS+ (93)

13th in ERA (4.55)

9th in ERA+ (99)

The 2009 pitching staff is in position to be better than the 2000 squad. I still have a hard time believing we finished at 85 wins with a 1. Steve Parris 2. Rob Bell 3. Ron Villone rotation for most of the year. If the 2009 staff can pitch to potential and become a Top-5 staff in the NL, as was the 2000 staff (still not sure how that happened), then we have a chance at 85 wins. Holding us back will be a young, developing offense. For 85 wins to occur, many of our hitters will need career years or breakout years or not-bad years.

Starting with 74 wins, let's do some math...

Not having Josh Fogg = +3 wins

Not having Matt Belisle = +1 win

Not having 2008 Homer Bailey = +1 win

Johnny Cueto a year older = +2 wins

Aaron Harang not smoking crack = +2 wins

Not having Adam Dunn = -1 win

366 Taveras ABs over 366 Patterson ABs = +1 win

Offensive improvement from Phillips, Encarnacion, Votto and Bruce = +5 wins

The bullpen not topping last years performance= -2 wins

Best case scenario: 86 wins, 2nd in the division, Wildcard!!!

Worst case scenario: 76 wins, 5th in the division, Two of diamonds

My scenario: 81 wins, 3rd in the division, Queen of hearts

And now.........T-Pain