Poll Results: There is Nothing More Embarrassing than Owning This

Red Scare readers have spoken. Apparently, there is nothing more embarrassing then getting Matt Belisle's autograph. Getting the signage of this ex-Red is, according to readers, more embarrassing than spitalling into someone's eye, being too short for the amusement park ride, or tearing your hamstring at Reds Fantasy Camp. Ouch.

Spittaling in someone's eye happens to the best of us. You are talking excitedly with a co-worker, possibly someone you are attracted to, and before you know it, you have catapulted a small globule of saliva from your mouth, bullet speed, onto their eyeball. They cock their head and blink a few times, taking a few moments to understand the situation, and you stay quiet and pretend like nothing happened. This, however, is not as embarrassing as getting John Hancock de Belisle.

Being too short for the amusement park ride is always embarrassing, especially if you're 38 years old, but not as embarrassing as inking Belisle's name when others can see you.

A fourth of the voters suggested that tearing your hamstring at Reds Fantasy Camp was more embarrassing than getting Belisle'd. Just imagine it. You stroke a lobbed pitch from Dick Pole into the right field gap. Then, running to first, almost like predetermination, you know you're stretching it into two. You round first hard and take a wide turn, and then, it happens. You put too much pressure on your pivot leg, which hasn't had this type of workout since you cut the no-man's grass between you and your asshole neighbor's yard, and you shriek in pain and go down clutching your hammy. Even this scene, however, is not as embarrassing as getting an autograph from Matthew Belisle.