R.I.P. Jeff Keppinger

Just after the trade, Kepp posed for his new team.

Yesterday the Reds traded Jeff Keppinger to Houston. Today, the Reds played Houston...and Jeff Keppinger. Let's just make this as uncomfortable as possible. At least Kepp wasn't hit by a pitch.

So yes, the Reds have parted ways with Jeff "Elmer Fudd" Keppinger, for the dreaded player to be named later, which is never good for the psyche--

Walt: Kepp, I'm sorry, but we've traded you to Houston.

Kepp: That's okay, I guess. I should get more playing time there. Say, just curious, who did you get for me? Micheal Bourn? Reggie Abercrombie? Christ, please don't say Geoff Blum. Anybody but Geoff Blum.

Walt: Well, technically, it is anybody at this point.

Kepp: I'm not sure what you mean.

Walt: We traded you for a player to be named later.

Kepp: Jesus Walt, why? (eyes welling)

Walt: At the moment, you are more valuable to our club by just not being here. It doesn't even matter who we get. Just not having you here is good enough. Don't tell Houston this, but I would have traded you for a discount hummer from that whore in their PR department, but they offered an unnamed minor leaguer and I thought what the hell.

It's pretty obvious that Kepp hasn't been the same player since fracturing his kneecap last year and the Reds were unwilling to wait any longer, especially with farm-raised youngsters Janish and Rosales gearing up to be the next Juan Castro for years to come. Okay, maybe just Janish.

I'm happy for Kepp, as I am for most players traded away from our organization. Houston needs all the help they can get. When (not if) this guy gets healthy, he will hit over .300 and never strike out, while displaying solid defense, as he has done at every level. Every time Kepp gets a hit against the Reds this year I will do a shot of vodka, and you can bet your ass I won't be able to stand up after each game.