Game 12: I now know that Mike Hampton has been on the DL 12 times

Reds 4, Astros 3

Bronson Arroyo: 7 IP, 9 H, 3 ER, 2 K, 0 BB. Bronson only needed 81 pitches (53 strikes) to get through seven innings against the Astros (Johnny, Edinson, are you listening?). He kept hitters off balance with his bloopy junk (compliment) and challenged them to put it in play. Bronson is now 3-0 on the young season. Much thanks to Mr. Votto for this one. Bronson also laid down two sac bunts and made a fantastic shoelace reaction grab on a burner up the middle to start a sexy DP. My only gripe--when Bronson gets coasting, he falls asleep and starts grooving pitches. Lance Berkman and Carlos Lee took advantage of this tonight.

Joey Votto: Attention Brandon Phillips, Alex Gonzalez and Ramon Hernandez. Because all of you are excellent at getting down 0-2 in the blink of an eye, maybe you should study the two-strike Votto approach. Shorten your swing and expand your strike zone. Votto shot a two-strike pitch on the outside corner into left field for a single in the first inning, and later, in the seventh with a two-strike count, missed a grand slam by about three feet, settling instead for a go-ahead 2-run double.

Quote of the Game: Is George Grande the president of the Mike Hampton fan club, because I think I listened to Hampton-blabber for about two-thirds of the broadcast. George only mentioned that Hampton had been on the DL 12 times in his career about every other pitch. And that only got Chris Welsh all horny for some Hampton.

Grande on Geoff Blum: "One of the more valuable players on this Astros roster, and one of the more underrated in the league." Geoff is a career .251 hitter with a .699 OPS. Oh right, he plays good defense. (insert scoff)

Willy Taveras: 2-5. 2 runs. Willy should have 30 stolen bases by now, not 3.

Edwin Encarnacion: Admit it, he's looked real solid at third this year. 2-4 today with a couple huge RBIs on a first inning single to get us off and running.

Darnell McDonald: What a catch at the wall in right. And a hit. And a walk. Yeah for you!

Brandon "Old Man" Phillips: 0 for his last 20-something. As observed by a commenter on Redszone, why does it take him 5 seconds to complete a swing? He seems unable (or unwilling) to make adjustments. He applied another "phantom tag" to a stealing Pudge Rodriguez off a great Hanigan throw. I'm not sure what was funnier, another phantom tag by Phillips, or Pudge trying to steal.

Ryan Hanigan: Every time I watch him play, Ramon Hernandez becomes more expendable (at least more platoonable).

Paul "Silent J" Janish: Every time I watch him play, Alex Gonzalez becomes more expendable (much, much more platoonable).

Bad cameraman, bad!: When Hunter Pence hit a towering fly to left field, my intial reaction was, "I can't believe he's going to be rewarded with a home run for that weak shit at Minute Maid Park, where the left field home run porch seemingly sits about 250 feet out." The cameraman aimed his device on the home run porch and waited for a cluster of fans to rise and grasp the air, but the moment never came. By the time the cameraman found the ball, Jerry Hairston was running towards the infield and had flipped it into the stands.

Miguel Tejada: What is he now, 27?

Chris Dickerson: 12-pitch pinch hit walk in the eighth. Yes sir.

Jerry "I run into walls for no good reason" Hairston Jr.: Ran into the home run porch wall for no damn reason other than he loves getting hurt. My girlfriend, who does not watch baseball, remarked, "It [the ball] wasn't anywhere near where he jumped." I had no logical explanation.

Arthur Rhodes: I did not like that he worked the bases full, but it was all worth it for that last pitch. The best pitch of Arthur's career (...that I've seen, and I've only seen about .00000004% of them).

A solid outing from a Reds starter, tight defense, a couple clutch hits, and there you have it. It's Cubby-crushin' time.