Welcome: Arthur "Bling Bling" Rhodes

This will be Arthur Rhodes 18th season. He is 39. He had Tommy John surgery in 2007. He's played with Baltimore, Seattle, Oakland, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Seattle again, and Florida. As a set-up man, he has wisened through the years. In his first ten seasons, he averaged a 4.80 ERA. How he remained in the league, I'm not sure (the answer is expansion). On the eve of the 2001 season, however, Arthur most likely received a phone call from an anonymous deep-voiced Mariner fanatic who threatened the safety of his family if Arthur didn't elevate his game. Since that probable phone call, he has averaged a squeaky clean 3.02 ERA.

Arthur is the reason why baseball players are no longer allowed to wear pretty earrings. During a 2001 game against the insufferable Cleveland Indians, Arthur was ordered to remove his diamond stud earrings at the request of sissypants #1 Omar Vizquel, who complained to umpire Tim McClellan that the earrings were hurting his eyes and he couldn't see the ball. The earrings were ejected, followed by Arthur. "Distracting jewelry" was banned a short time after. It is noted that in 32 Plate Appearances against Arthur, Omar has a .111 BA (3 hits). Hmmmm.

Bling Bling follows in the footsteps of other dinosaur Reds relievers salvaged from the scrapheap (David Weathers, Mike Stanton, Kent Mercker, Rheal Cormier), although he does have one glaring difference. He looks meaner than shit.

STAT WATCH: If Bling Bling can pitch like he's pitched for the past seven years and doesn't have a heart attack, he will make a positive contribution to the club in 2009. Let's shoot for a 3.50 ERA Arthur.